Everyone has a past.
No matter what gender, race, ethnicity born into – we all have it pinned onto us like a safety pin, where we are able to unclasp it at times yet, it will find its way back to re-clasping itself no matter how bent and out of shape it may become to be.
Ironically, within this past year the safety pin became a symbol of solidarity with people who say they have suffered racism, sexism, xenophobia, Islamophobia and homophobia, amongst other manifestations of bigotry.
My mind is in a swirl of thoughts – those following the Malayalam Film Industry news know what I mean when I say #IAmWithHer – but I am not just with her, I am with him, I am with the children, the youth, teens, uncles and aunties that have had their run-ins with such traumatizing, disgusting ordeals (myself included).
But what can we do other than move forward and talk about it? What action could we possibly take other than to sentence the individuals to some confinement and hope their sins will be repented in some way?
We all are human.
We all are born unto this world with a clean slate, with the capability and right to do good and be good; yet some of those who influence us and some of what we experience may cause us to waver in the opposite direction…
To name a few: Some may have been physically abused. Some may have violent, unforgiving parents. Some may of had pubertal issues. Some may have had sexual abuse as a child from those whom their loved ones trusted, or perhaps it was their loved ones. Some have messed up love stories. Some may of had been forced into sex in the name of love. Some may of been drugged. Some were date raped. Some may have had been viciously photographed on bed. Some may of had been blackmailed by their ex-partner/lover. Some may have had been in an abusive relationship. Some had menstrual problems. Some may of had a broken family. Some had a divorce. Some had an obesity issue. Some had financial droughts. Some had drug or alcohol addiction. Some had a few unsuccessful suicide attempts.
If you see ANYONE who went through any of these but had already wiped their tears, masked their sorrows with a divine smile, stood tall and strong, started walking towards a future because they still had some hope left inside them and has not given up on the concept of love and solidarity that still exists somewhere in this world — then do not stab them about with what happened it the past.
Do not confront them. Do not slap them with more abuse. Give way and time for them to talk and walk beside them.
They need not always be only the boy or girl next door or from a different home. They could be your own friend, your own sister, brother, your own girlfriend, boyfriend, your own wife, husband, and even your own mother or father.
Do not judge them by her past. Gift them the peaceful future that they deserve. Hold their hands against the world, which knows only to judge.