Life Is Short – The Art of Not Caring About What Others Think

It should be clear by now as an ABPD – I’m as bold as we can be. This being said, our ‘being bold’ may cause others to look at us with disparaging eyes.

I’ve fortunately/unfortunately have been the center of circles where there’s an individual or two who will try to disparage me from being with people who do believe in me and of course, doing what I love.

Initially, yes – it hurt. I couldn’t fathom as to why I was being singled out, but then I recall reading upon this quote:

“Take control of your destiny. Believe in yourself. Ignore those who try to discourage you. Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits. Don’t give up and don’t give in.”

– Wanda Hope Carter

Though what may seem like common sense, it boils down to learning how to not care so much about what others think, and also, conversely, understanding what goes on in their minds. In ignoring those negative energies, I’ve not only began a new self-appreciation for the self, but for others who appreciate me and my entirety.

Your passion is a priority.

A lot of people go through the motions in life, not doing what they love. They end up constantly looking back, asking themselves, “What if?”

Whether people support you or not, do you really want to look back in regret one day down the line? To not know what could have happened if you tried to do what you really wanted to do?

This love of yours is one of the most important things in your life. Follow your heart, and not the words of others just to live up to their expectations.

Life is short.

It may be a little disheartening to have people around you discourage you, but remember, life is short.

Do you really want to spend your time feeling down over others’ words when they’re completely unwarranted, baseless, and probably not making any kind of sense?

Do you really want to pull back on following your dream or doing what you want because of others, and start living a life that probably doesn’t fulfill your potential?

Remember that life is short, and it will be easier to stick to your own convictions when other people disagree with your choices or put you down.

Others may not fully understand.

People who don’t support you and discourage you may not actually be bad people who intentionally want to destroy your dreams.

Sometimes, they just don’t understand why you do what you do, so they voice out their concerns, which may make them seem dissenting.

I personally try not to take it to heart when people discourage me. I see it as they need a little education and explanation. Or sometimes, I just ignore them.

If anything, since they don’t fully understand, I don’t see why it’s something to be upset over.

Sometimes others are insecure.

Sometimes when people don’t support what you’re doing, it may be more about them than you.

It could be plain ignorance or even jealousy, but some people tend to attack things that are new to them.

So again, don’t take their words to heart. If their criticism isn’t constructive in any way, they may be discouraging you because of their own fears and insecurities.

Remember anything is possible.

Nobody can predict the future for certain.

The people who don’t support you might paint a gloomy picture of what’s to come if you do what you want to do.

You don’t know the future either, but do you want to listen to others instead of believing in yourself?

Don’t let objections from others become your truth and limit you from creating what you want in life.

Anything is possible if you believe in yourself and work hard.

You can do this without their support.

It’s natural to want support and encouragement from the people around you, but it is possible to do what you want to do without it.

Just think of how many successful, inspiring people took the road less traveled.

You’re a very powerful being, just by yourself. Believe in that, don’t give up, and you’ll go a long way, whichever road you take.

You can’t please everyone in life.

You can’t. It’s impossible. And a lot of people forget that.

If you try to please everyone, it’s going to be next to impossible. So don’t bother. Keep your focus on what you want to do and why.

In an ideal world, we could constantly surround ourselves with positivity. We can’t do that, but we can work on ourselves so that we stay committed and positive.


Personal Healing

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to healing of the world.” – Marianne Williamson

There is always going to be a desire to create an ideal world where everyone will be happy and free from suffering. What I personally have noticed is we have this habitual tendency to look around us and find out what’s wrong with the world and then try to “fix” it.

There is always going to be horrible things happening around us, but to transform this world we live in – we have to start with us. We can only be the change we seek in the world if we start with our individual healing

When we heal (not mend), a part in ourselves, we heal the world. In order to heal however, we must utilize the power of forgiveness.

If I’m going to be open with all of you (and this may come as a shock to some), there are nights where I break down and feel how much I had been hurting myself with my persistent negative view of my world. On the outside, I carry this level of “everything’s going fine” vibe but really, internally – I’m broken.

I believed I wasn’t good enough for the world – to have and enjoy the life that I wanted, that I wasn’t enough to meet my respective partner, or that I would never reach the ability to fulfill my potential.

In observing those around me – I learned to feel guilty for all the good as well as the bad that occurred in my life. I also learned to blame others when appropriate and that life is just as well as struggle for everyone.

It took years, but I realized and felt what I had been doing to myself and how damaging this was – physically, mentally, and spiritually. With this realization, I would burst into tears and then, naturally, as I explored how to heal, initiated a process of forgiveness.

I would hold onto myself for hours on the edge of the bed, curled up in a ball, and I recall all the times I had unintendedly hurt myself by thinking and believing the negative thoughts about myself… but then I forgave myself.

I forgave myself for each item as it came to mind. I began to write and dance until there was nothing left inside me and all my sorrows and woes had been bled out. I wholly and completely released myself for the guilt and pain that I created in my life.

I had also recognized that no one in my life had hurt me except me. I decided to take responsibility for my feelings and my life and put an end to my suffering.

Other people can and could hurt me if I allowed them to – if I believed their words and actions were reflections of who I am, rather than a reflection of how they feel about themselves.  I essentially became aware of this cycle of pain and forgave and released myself from those old, negative behavior patterns. Consequently, I also forgave all the people who I had felt hurt me.

Much of the pain we experience in our everyday life is self-created through our thoughts and beliefs about our circumstances. We then project this suffering into the world as external experiences which we often try to “fix” by making changes or building walls in our external affairs.

When we accept the responsibility for our experiences and feelings, we learn that we have more control over our lives than we thought. We may not be able to control what’s happening in the world around us, but we can choose how we interpret and interact with it. Cleaning up our thoughts and forgiving ourselves is a great way to start.

While forgiving others on its own won’t end global suffering or create world peace, creating peace within will better enable us to find and enact solutions to the larger problems we all face. In healing myself, it will create a ripple effect across the universe which will allow me to help others heal.