Where Have I Been?

It’s been a little over three years since I founded Voice of ABPD, and within those couple of years, a lot was discovered and of course, as with any person seeking  growth and betterment, things change.

Now, as many people who have followed me on my public journey of life have may or may not have noticed, I’ve been keeping a much lower profile than usual. This is due to various personal reasons of course, but as I briefly mentioned – people change.

This is not to say I have let go of my passions and dreams of the arts – I am just compartmentalizing it for a later and better time. As an activist, artist, dancer, influencer, knowledge-seeker, I’ve just learned to take time and really smell the roses as they bloom and fade around me, and this means, taking time to take care of me.

For the longest time, I would say I was the individual who will go to extreme lengths to please and support friends,  execute an idea to better heights, and really make my presence known. I’ve chased after so many people, events and things in hopes to feel loved, to be understood, to prove my worth and value – only to be burned time and time over again.

So, you want to know where I’ve been? I’ve been around, I’m “present,” but I keep to myself because I’ve heard too much of my business come from people, I didn’t tell it to.

I’ve finally let myself thrive as the multipotentialite that I am. I’ve learned to let go of this idea of the “one true calling” and instead continuous educate myself in all my interests and develop them even further.

Why am I writing this then? Well, as a former influencer of the South Asian community, I was put in front of the American Malayalee community since I could walk, and so to leave various organizations/regions of these congregations was both a relief, but also difficult.

You see, I’m one of those Proud Indian Americans who sincerely and genuinely cares for the people, causes and communities I serve, so to see petty politics and egos get in the way disgusts me. And even if I ignore it, to continuously try and be a voice, to try and make a difference as one sole person is exhausting.

I write this piece as I know many first and second-generation Indian Americans leave our cultural communities and live their lives outside of these groups just fine. I envy them. Perhaps it was because of my upbringing, but no matter how many times I try to walk away – I find myself always coming back as I am a person who believes in the power of community, and it was through this community where I procured most of my talents and interests.

Overall, remember this, “every now and then, a person with no agenda, no ulterior motive, and no self-interest will take pleasure in helping you to succeed, grow and live your purpose. This person will operate in love, will seek no praise, and will want nothing in return. This person is a gift.” I believe myself to be such a person, and there are many others like myself, so as with any gift – cherish them, believe in them, and remember the reason why they entered your life in the first place.  

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