I Heard A Rumor…

They’re inevitable, right… rumors that is. They spread like wildfire and are hard to contain as our human curiosity is tapped in a way that makes us wonder whether these hypothetical ideas are true. Well that’s just it – they’re more than likely just a hypothetical.

Call it what you may – Rumor, Gossip, Fake News – it’s still an idea that is more than likely going to affect someone (or multiple someone’s), destroying if not tarnishing relationships that have been built up for years.

Now, I will admit, the reason for this blog post is that very recently, I have been the subject of some very outlandish rumors. In hearing of the “gossip piece,” I wasn’t upset or angry. I was disappointed. Disappointed that the few people who are going about spreading the story hardly know me, disappointed that they would come up with such a story even though it is clear as day who I am, disappointed that the community spreading the rumor has no better things to do other than conjure up worthless stories like these in their spare time when they could be putting those placid ideas somewhere useful.

Time and time over again, I hear rumors and me being me, I address them upfront. I am an open book and known to be outspoken on subjects like these, however, I realize it’s pointless. Especially in the South Asian/Malayalee Community. Apparently, we thrive on the idea of scandal and the unknown and as such, no matter how noble a person may be, the community will find a way to try and tarnish their image with a horrible hypothetical. The most dangerous part about spreading such gossip is that it steals another person’s reputation. A reputation is very fragile. When you gossip, you are helping to destroy something extremely valuable

Rather than me calling people out on their BS, I figure it’s best on what people can do in order to stop the spread of the drama:

  1. Make a commitment you’re not going to gossip.
    Even though the temptation to gossip is powerful, you will always win when you choose not to use it. And really, with all gossip, there’s no way of knowing for sure what is true or not.
  2. Don’t listen to others when they gossip
    Rumors grows an audience. You simply being there listening to it adds to its appeal. If someone starts to tell you something gossipy, say, “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel comfortable talking about this person when they’re not here to defend themselves.” Not only will you break the gossip chain, but you also will gain the trust of other people, as someone who won’t spread rumors.
  3. Don’t judge people based on gossip.
    If you should hear gossip about someone you don’t know, you have two choices: allow the rumor to determine what you believe, or let your own personal experience determine what you think.
  4. Think before you speak.
    Before you repeat something you’ve heard about another person, think: does this really do any good for me to spread this information? Or am I just trying to be in the know? Is the information even true? Could I be hurting someone by telling this, even if it’s true? If the person you are talking to is not part of the problem, or part of the solution, there’s no need to tell them anything.
Don’t associate with people who find such great joy in belittling others.

It’s been said, knowledge is power. Unfortunately, many people like to spread damaging information or intimate details about others, whether true or not. People use gossip to hurt people, in order to feel good about themselves, and to feel like they have power over others.

If you think you know something juicy someone did over the weekend or think someone is getting together with someone – it’s easy to feel like you have to tell others. We especially like it when we hear something that makes someone look bad. Celebrity bloggers and gossip magazines make millions of dollars off of this unfortunate reality and personally, I’ve seen our community organize gatherings and get-together’s just to hash out the details.

So, I heard a rumor that after reading this, you’re going to think twice about spreading a rumor about me, my friends, or anyone else because you know it’s far from the truth and you know its not worth any of our time.

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