Gun ‘Controls’ America

How many more people have to die before we have a REAL conversation about gun control in this country? How many days must we wake up to the news announcing another tragedy… another massacre?

This is just so heartbreaking. Absolutely heartbreaking…
People live in fear of Islamic terror when they should be looking at themselves…

More Americans are killed by firearms roughly every five hours than are killed by terrorists in an entire year… Statistically an American is at least twice as likely to be shot dead by a toddler than killed by a terrorist. Some of the stats discovered are unbelievable to the mind.
Any way you try and slice or dice it, this is home grown terrorism and we NEED to finally do something about this. Those people did not deserve to die.

How long must we walk this earth with fear and paranoia of the worst? Why must we live in such a vicious world where we have to constantly look over shoulder with a third eye on our forehead in order to move forward with our lives? When will this end… when will those with the upper hand realize that a change needs to be made? Not a rash one, but a well deduced, appropriate one?

 

*This blog is written in relation to the events of the Las Vegas Massacre that occurred on the 1st of October.*

For up-to date news and information of the event,  click here.

 

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Is India Becoming the Melting Pot of Cultures?

What is culture? Culture is like a multi faceted object, whose every side has something unique and different. The word culture has different meanings for different people. Culture of any kind and any place is something vibrant, dynamic, thriving, mutating, deviating all the time. Similar to the U.S., India has become a melting pot of many cultures and traditions and to think otherwise can be considered destroying the promising upliftment of new generation cultural norms and ideas.

Indian culture is so diversified – we can preserve it only when we realize that the next person has the right to his beliefs and traditions as much as we do, irrespective of religion, creed or caste. Otherwise, we’re just insulting what we have in our hands.

In the evolutionary system, based on democratic values and of course human and environmental compassion – progress is made by facing the facts and truth than to turn your back and trying to run the other way around.


Today I am forced to say it, but to my utmost grief the varied Indian heritage is facing a threat not from any foreign body or element but from its own people. We ourselves are slaughtering our own culture by embracing the new so called “modern” culture. By doing this we are putting an end to this hereditary saga which has been passed down from several generations.
The traditional Namaste and Namaskar have been slowly replaced by the hollow Hi and Bye. Today’s generation lacks the values which were once found in every Indian family. What else can be the best example other than their treatment towards the parents?
Today’s youth look up to their parents as a resource providing medium only meant to satisfy their whims and fancies. And when they grow old and it is their turn to repay them and take care of them they draw a blank. It is often read in newspapers about bereaved and senile parents abandoned by their young children.

This is the state of Indian culture today. Here the question arises whether culture can co-exist with the changing trends. Well, if this question was put to me, I would reply, why not? This great titan among cultures has been adapting to the changing times. It suffered but patiently bore all the assaults heaped on it. It flourished and prospered during the medieval periods. Once again today it has found itself in shackles.

Is this the end of this great saga? Has the time come for this great culture to be lost, forever, never to be regained?
My reply to this would be a solemn no. I am sure that if we act now and embrace it like never before it will survive. It has faced several onslaughts like this in the past. We need to preserve this glorious heritage and add all we can to it and pass it on enriched with traditional as well as modern qualities to the next generation.
To preserve something so unique we need to understand that every culture should be given its own space and at the same time ensure that we do not put our religious and personal interests before the all important task of preserving the secular and sovereign fabric of our country. But not every culture is meant to be preserved like a spicy mango achaar (pickle), or monument. If any culture has strong base and values, it will withstand the test of time, but if it’s not willing to open up to ideas that may enhance the culture, it will collapse.

A culture is only as good as its progress, its tolerance, love and people. With the element of time, some traditions and values change and this is a concept that will never change. Change does not mean that we will lose our traditions. It means correcting our wrongs and eliminating those things in our culture that may hinder human development, human rights and humanity.

Defining Humanitarian Assistance

Why should you do good deeds?

Whether you call it random acts of kindness, paying it forward, or good deeds, they are very powerful. That is why almost every religion and culture values and rewards the performance of good deeds. There are many benefits to doing good deeds. Some of these benefits may be very obvious to you, while you may not have considered some of the others.

Help Someone

“The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention. ” -Anonymous

When you do a good deed, you are, of course, helping someone. The homeless person down the street has food to eat, thanks to the kindness of various passer-byers. The person who is the receiver of a good deed or random act of kindness has gotten some help.

However, he received more than just a meal or two. In addition to getting food, he also received the message that he is important and worth helping. This good deed warms his heart as well as fills his stomach.

Help Yourself

“Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression.” – Dodie Smith

Besides helping someone, doing a good deed warms your own heart and makes you feel good. If you are unemployed or retired, it gives you something worthwhile to do to pass the time. It is a social activity for those who may feel isolated and alone.

Helping others gives you a new perspective and keeps you from focusing on your own problems. By focusing on someone other than yourself, you are reminded that you are not the only one in the world that has problems. In fact, it is possible that there are many people out there whose problems are much worse than yours.

Show Values

“Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.”- George Eliot

When you perform a good deed, there is a possibility that someone may have seen you, or may have been told about your good deed. You develop a reputation as a good moral person. Sometimes some of your other flaws are wiped out by the good deeds that you perform.

When you share your money, talents, or time with others, you may find that the rewards are so great, that you will share even more. You will be naturally become a more giving, caring, sharing and honorable person.


Governments, international organizations and individuals have joined hands to give aid, comfort and hope to the people whose lives had been shattered by an storm, a disease, a cause, etc.

There is a line, however, between genuine charity work and publicity hype that individuals sometimes cross. And when they do, good taste flies out the window.

Ordinary people like you and I who do not make millions of dollars a year or live in a big house, also help people on the scale that big named celebrities does, but those people are not called humanitarians because they know they are and it does not need to be recognized for the deed is bigger than the recognition.

I am one of those people you described…I am a humanitarian. If you do those things you too are a humanitarian. Why do you think everything has to be large scale to be a humanitarian? I can’t give millions of dollars but I have raised enough to change a life. I cannot afford to travel those places yet but I can send supplies. I cannot change the world but I can change a few opinions and I do so for the good of mankind…and in doing so, I am a humanitarian.

Being a humanitarian is not something you have to risk your life for. It is putting the good of human kind before your own selfishness…

ABPD Diaries: In Full Bloom

Whenever someone asks me “What are you?”, I once hesitated to answer… pretending to be unaware of the underlying question they’re asking (What ethnicity are you?), I typically would reply with the truth: I’m American. This usually elicits a , “No, but what really ARE you?”  After making the asker think twice about the irony of this exchange, I’ll give a more nuanced explanation, “I was born in Washington, but my parents are South Indian”. Then I’ll get the confirmatory nod of approval.

No doubt, most every person of color in this country has experienced a similar exchange at some point in their life, whether it’s their taxi driver making small talk or a slightly ignorant new acquaintance.

Having spent most of my life in an rural, developing region, my cultural identity has not always been something I’ve had to defend. Growing up, though I was the only brown girl in a class of brunette & blonde ballerinas, I think back and reflect about how I never really felt my Indian identity inhibited me from being a full-on “American”. My parents sent me to swimming and kung-fu practices while also sending me to Bharatnatyam classes on the weekends and playing 90’s Mollywood/Bollywood songs on long car rides.

As I’ve gotten older and encountered more individuals and perspectives in the melting pot of America, I’ve found that what really identifies me is not just whether I am solely American or Indian but the intersection of both of my cultural identities; that I check two different boxes on my Visa application when asked for nationality and race, or that I appreciate music by Beyonce, Shreya Goshal, KS Chitra, or Vidya Vox.

Multiple cultural identities have reinforced my relationship with my American and Indian cultures. For many people, growing up surrounded by American culture has, in fact, strengthened their Indian roots by challenging them to rely on their heritage to help define themselves. Since most of our parents didn’t pass through Ellis Island, we look to our other identities to answer questions about our culture, history, and lifestyle.

Most importantly, the intersection of multiple cultures has endowed me with a platform to relate better with people of both of my cultures especially through dance and music, two art forms with a universal language and appeal. Studying Ballet and Bharatnatyam together at a young age helped me become better at each. Now, when I dance or choreograph, I always draw upon elements of each respectively to create something new. Musically, we’ve witnessed the immense popularity of innovative remixes between South Asian music and all styles of English music. This has opened up a whole new genre drawing in elements from two very distinct cultural backgrounds and appealing to both.

Instead of choosing one identity versus the other when it’s under fire, many of us who were born in the US with the benefit of a second identity have felt an urge to express the unique relationship we have with both – an identity of its own – through art. 

In looking at various competitive Classical, Bhangra, and Bollywood circuits in the US – thousands of dancers, musicians and performers have created a massive platform to express this unique identity. Why? Probably because we live in a country still trying to ascertain its ever-evolving identity. It would be inaccurate for us to identify with only one culture, so we formed a way to express our dual one.

At the same time, each individual’s experience with their various identities can differ. Take a look at some famous Indian Americans on TV today: Hasan Minhaj, Aziz Ansari, and Mindy Kaling. In interviews and some of their semi-autobiographical works, they address the issues of their own respective identities in very different ways.

Hasan Minhaj tackles the question head on in his most recent stand-up special, Homecoming King. He explicitly identifies the experiences that molded him into a Hindi-speaking Muslim growing up in Davis, California. Aziz Ansari, for example, addresses Indian American tropes on TV in his show, Master of None and features his own parents quite prominently in many episodes. On the other hand, there are episodes where you could replace Aziz Ansari with any white actor (perhaps one of the Chrises of recent infamy in Hollywood) and not notice a difference. But as the second generation of Indian Americans grows, it’s really Aziz’s character Dev who is a truer and more relatable reflection of my own experience.

Mindy Kaling, on the other hand, has come under fire for coming off as a “coconut – brown on the outside, white on the inside” on her show, the Mindy Project. I take pause with this criticism. If her own experience with her dual cultures was just the color of her skin and maybe the fact that once in a while, she put on a sari and went to the temple, then so be it!

An advantage of having a hyphenated identity is that there’s no right answer to where one should fall on the spectrum between the two. Just as identity is fluid, having multiple cultural identities is a balancing act. And though by no means is anyone responsible for promulgating this conflation, we do sit at a unique nexus, able to liaise between both of our identities with ease. The common theme among Hasan Minhaj, Aziz Ansari and Mindy Kaling is that they each own their dual identities instead of hiding behind a façade of either being fully American or fully Indian.

With music videos like “Lean On” by Major Lazer and “Hymn for the Weekend” by Coldplay and Beyonce, there has been considerable discussion around the appropriation vs. appreciation of different cultures. While I do think it’s important for artists to be considerate and not offend or demean other cultures, accusing artists of appropriation for simply featuring a form of dance or setting a music video in a different country will only serve to inhibit creativity.

At the same time, it’s ironic that wearing bindis to Coachella has become the norm amongst female concertgoers while it remains an aspect of the Hindu culture that many Indian-Americans were often made fun of (I recall way too many experiences with this). This conversation around finding a line between appropriation and appreciation plagues not only the Indian American culture but Asians, African Americans and Native Americans as well to name a few.

A better approach to this issue would be to open up a dialogue from somewhere in the middle. The most effective voices in the conversation won’t be the shouts from either end of the spectrum, but a more hybrid perspective from those who can relate to both aspects.

We should try and be centered around the belief that our identity is fluid, constantly challenged and redefined, but unified through art– no matter one’s career, interests, heritage, background or religion. Instead of comparing ourselves to one another searching for the right way for us to express our multifaceted identities, we should come together to create new and thought-provoking art that expresses our collective identity.

 

 

 

How my Productivity Became my Identity

Whenever I am not doing something or occupying myself with an event or networking with professionals – I honestly don’t know who I am. I don’t know who I am when I am not productively doing something.

Some may or may not relate, but to bare all and be truthful to myself and to you, I don’t have much of a real identity or a word that can personify my personality. Now you may be thinking, “what is she talking about? She does a multitude of things! An all-rounder!” but am I?

I am simply a hard-worker like my father, and as I get older and evolve alongside the world and it’s diverse group of people, I realize that whomever the higher creator is took this hard-worker personality and copy-pasted it onto me.

Though, I must say, in being the first-born child to two first generation immigrants – I carry a personality of grit which is something I guess I developed myself. In developing this personality, I felt it was my duty to make sure not only to impress my parents but my peers around me and thus; I started to become distinguished in my passion for dance, respected by my peers in terms of my work which almost always leads to people saying that I am over-qualified for the task assigned because of how I carry myself.

This isn’t at all a bad thing. I am simply a workaholic. I need constantly to work on something to keep my mind and body occupied. Every second of my schedule should be packed with tasks and mark checks all over the metaphorical and literal to-do lists.

I did say my father and I share this “workaholism”, but we are different in the sense, however, that my workaholism is there for a different and perhaps, even more sinister reason. My productivity is my identity. If I am not working, I am just a hollow shell that doesn’t have much of a purpose. Ever since I was in grade school, I always felt (and was told), that success was quantifiable. The number of extracurriculars I took part of, the amount of stages I performed upon and subsequently, the number of awards and certificates I procured displayed my worthiness. Each grade I got defined my intelligence and my ability to be successful. While other kids were carefree and could not care less about the award of extra gold sticker they got, I would be home almost heartbroken that I didn’t get that extra star than the other. While other kids were having fun, my mind would be burdened with how to work harder to get the extra gold star and the best grades the next year.

Slowly, because of that, my depression worsened. To try and make it go away, I would fill my schedule to the absolute brim – that way, I could, theoretically be better than everyone else… a habit I still try to do to this day….

But that just let me tired, still feeling inadequate and even more depressed. It was a subconscious vicious cycle that I could never really break free of. I would spend evenings upon evenings feeling worthless and every time my mom would bring up so-and-so’s kid’s success (obviously not to compare me to the kid but just sharing as daily news), a fire would singe in my chest telling me to continue to work otherwise I would never be worthy.

This is why I have tied my own worth and dignity to the ability to be productive. It is very unhealthy and painful but this is how I am wired. Like most parents of Asian descent, my parents would tell me, “you can be anything you want to be as long as you work hard and be the best at it.” Even though this was said with the intention to be encouraging, it almost reinforced the purpose of the vicious cycle of productivity feeding it more of a reason to exist.


I may be called the “jack of all trades” and “all-rounder” in terms of my work, and even though I work harder than most people I know – I am still never going to be close to being the smartest or most competent person in the room… and that is perfectly ok.

The struggle of working hard and never feeling adequate stems from insecurities that have never secured themselves into positivity, but have only been engraved into negativity. Every day I look at myself in the mirror and question my worth as a young adult. I realize that the more I care about my productivity, the angrier I will be. But for that day, I swallow my anger at my lack of quantifiable accomplishments and continue to participate in my stubborn, subconscious cycle of productivity. I just hope that one day I will gain the wisdom and mental strength to break free.

 

The Dying Indian Film Industry

Perhaps this post has a slight bias due to my personal investment in the Malayalam industry, but because of my bias; I can use it to my advantage. In no way am I a divulged expert on the industry(s) – Bollywood, Tollywood, Kollywood, Mollywood, etc. but in doing my thesis; I’ve discovered a few discrepancies which I shall divulge about in later posts.

Being a first generation Indian born in America to first generation immigrant parents; I grew up watching Malayalam cinemas. Mohanlal, Mammootty, Suresh Gopi, Dileep, Jayram, were my film idols before ever watching or hearing about names such Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Cruise.  Even though the films were/are 2 hours long (sometime longer), I personally never felt that it was too long because the stories were carried out beautifully and the actors/actresses did their part to move the plot forward.

Right now, present day… I can’t say the same. The video quality may have improved (as it should), but the same cannot be said for the storylines presented before us and the characters who attempt to portray them along with how the media decides to spin stories.

In being “behind the scenes” for a couple projects; I know teamwork is a must for a film to go forward – but also a plan that is meticulous to the finest details. I’ve noticed that most Malayalam short films attempt to carry this desire of being a full-fledged film but only come half way with their production quality; thus bringing the question whether conducting short-films are even worth it?

Well, the answer to that question in this present time is yes, for our attention span to watch a full 2 hour movie with a weak story line (or what we Malayalaees like to call “pynkili katha”/time-pass), and actors/actresses whose faces and names we hardly remember makes short-films appealing, yet if not properly done (which most are), then they too are killing the once gregarious industry of cinema. That being said however, short films are a way to get many aspiring creative talents together to produce a dream aspiration albeit through direction, acting, singing, etc. It’s the opportunity for individuals to dip their toes in charted (and uncharted) waters.


In recent observations via the various media outlets particular within the Malayalam industry; I’ve noticed the “ethics” of journalism and production of cinema has waned. I’ve been having far too many conversations with folks asking me what I feel of the present “scandals” that are flying about to which I will not divulge further because it’s not my place to – and neither is it yours.

The quality of journalism today is nothing of what it was during the last third of the 20th century. Yes, news organizations back then earned profits and the best of the networks poured enormous amounts of money into finding, developing and sending into the field thousands of qualified journalists to report the news but unfortunately that image and quality has made almost a 360-degree turn as of late and I don’t blame the journalists — but I do query as to why the butcher to quality and ethics….


Because I am active journalist; I believe in relaying the hard, factual truth no matter how gritty it may sound. I recall reading and listening to the news in India praising them for their boldness to report on those daunting stories that some readers/writers in America wouldn’t dare to touch yet now – it has become a mockery. They are reporting with a style similar to Hollywood’s TMZ where they are seeking for news that isn’t there… for months at end…

The South Indian film industry was relatively clean when it came to scandals (though of course they are aplenty) but rather, the news outlets would report and talk about the film, directors, the storyline, actors etc. If I look to the news outlets now; it seems to only shed a negative light on the industry with theatres closing down, the black money corruption and actor scandals and divorces. I understand that some of the news is necessary to convey such as theatres closing down and the corruption of the industry but to pursue actor(s) and actress(s) and procreating stories without fact and legitimate evidence is wrong.

Oh, and to return to the point about having less than memorable characters – quit casting people with half the talent and can make a name for themselves rather than relinquish their morals and pay their way into the industry. It’s as simple as that.


Change is needed for this industry to thrive again. I want to feel that excitement I once had when I film was about to release. I want to be able to appreciate the film, the songs, the director and the team – but until the industry repair’s its internal organs, the outer appearance will continue to disintegrate

Too Many of us Suffer in Silence

The South Asian community is known to be one of the strongest and closest communities in the world. Both in success and in failure, we support each other and build upon our shared values – with one exception:

As a community, we probably neglect mental health more than any other group and as a result of this, stories of these “ABCD’s” giving in to the stress of their mental health conditions have become too common.

Too many of us suffer in silence… I get it.

Many of our parents immigrated from South Asia and we have the burden of making good of the opportunities that they gave us. We’re expected to work hard, compete, make it to the top and bring our family respect along the way.

I never really heard people talking highly of those who’ve sought therapy or dealt with mental health issues. Maybe you’ve heard of those people who do referred to as “complainers” and told to “just get over it.”  Maybe you’ve wanted to speak up and you’ve been hindered at every step of the way because of the overwhelming stigma in our community and going to the therapist would be a sign of weakness.

South Asian Americans – especially those between the ages of 15-24 – are more likely to exhibit major depressive symptoms than the whole of the U.S. population. In addition, a report from the Asian and Pacific Islander American Health Reform (APIAHF), recently found that young South Asian American women were more likely to commit suicide.  Despite all of this, South Asian Americans also have the lowest rate of utilization of mental health resources in America. The reason according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, minority communities are the least likely to use mental health resources because of the stigma associated with mental health.

Depression and anxiety are difficult for me to describe or relive, and without a doubt I’ve repressed a great deal from that time in my life… But in sharing my experience I hope to show even one other person that he or she is neither alone nor helpless in the struggle…

By the time I found potential friends, no part of me could really believe I wasn’t utterly alone. And so, the depression became irreversible. I would disregard any signs of acceptance from my peers – signs that I was no longer alone, and would instead internalize doubly any taunts or insults.

I began to believe, at my core, that I was worthless. Truly, worth nothing, not worth an ounce of compassion or love, especially from myself. I would berate myself mentally, even punish myself physically or self-harm whenever I felt outcast–sometimes just because it was “what a worthless person deserved.”

Mentally and physically, we may felt shattered and lost. To this day I don’t think my parents would ever admit it although they must have known. Well-being was never a topic of conversation in our household an excellence in all aspects was expected. The offhand comments about my weight and physique slowly marinated in my thoughts to the point of lashing out the best I could by torturing my body and my mind.

South Asian culture, in spite of its many merits and beauties, encourages a silent, stoic suffering and, although stoicism is touted in our culture, I can say generally that kinship and familial loyalty eclipse virtually any skepticism regarding mental illness. Such loyalty, if guided, is the strongest weapon against the lack of prioritization of mental health…

The path to recovery was slow, but there was a final destination, and I did reach it with the help of many people. Although it might feel discouraging to have to fight every day just to end up where an average person begins, know that it will happen.

The mental health problem in our community is very real and the stigma has rooted itself deep; but if we start to take action now, we can potentially create a future that is much more open in terms of communication and values.

  We should make it our mission to encourage honest, respectful dialogue about South Asian mental health in an effort to remove stigma, improve awareness and promote self care.

For those hurting right now, I’m sorry that you have to face such hardship. There is one cliché that does hold true for depression: you will emerge from this stronger. You will understand humanity on a level others do not. Now, years later, I consider myself immensely happy–and not because my happiness is tied to fleeting accomplishments or even fleeting relationships but because I learned in my weakest moments the fundamentals of happiness. And you will, too.

There is so much love around you if you can find a way to trust it. Until then, know that at least one woman who knows exactly what you feel right now, loves you very much.

Escaping YOUR Life

“No matter where you go, there you are.” -Confucius

I am running away.

I am running away from your idea of the “real” world.

I am avoiding your life…

And instead, I’m running towards everything – towards the world, the exotic places it carries, the new people to meet, the multitude of cultures and my own idea of freedom.

While there may be exceptions (as there are with most everything), most people who become nomads and wanderers do so because they want to experience the world — not to escape problems…

Life is short, and we only get to live it once. We should be able to look back and say we did things unimaginable, risky, memorable…

I feel like the reason why people tell us we are running away is because they can’t fathom the fact that we broke the mold and are living outside the norm: to want to break all of society’s conventions, there must be something wrong us with right?

Wrong.

Life is what you make it out to be. Life is yours to create. We are all chained down by the burdens we place upon ourselves, whether they are bills, errands, etc.

If you really want something, don’t wait for the world to tell you to go after it; you go after it yourself. 

 

Act Without Expectation

It is the basic nature of human beings to take things for granted.

Expectations hurt because we tend to place them at a much higher level than most other things we value in life. There will be cases when we fail to communicate these expectations properly or if we do; we carry this fear that we may hurt them with the ideological standard we placed upon them.

We all have various expectations. In my experience(s), I have found carrying expectation to be a happiness killer. The times in my life where I just followed my heart, doing what I was good at — everything turned out great. It was only when I started having grand expectations of myself with what I wanted, that life started throwing me a curve ball.

Expectation can really hurt us, because we can’t predict an outcome. All we can do is do our best, living in the now and staying present.

These expectations we carry is similar to a backpack with useless things: sifting and sorting through them, lowering them and raising them, adding onto them… expectations in and of itself do not necessarily hurt, but meeting the expectation or having others fail to meet the one you may have set upon them do. An example of this would be a parent expecting their child to be the class topper so they may “secure” a bright future – but what of the child? They are just as capable of carrying the expectation of hoping their parents would encourage them to pursue their dreams or ambitions…

Not meeting either party’s expectations will be hurtful, so what is the solution? Could it perhaps be that too high of expectations are set or where the expectations set, wrong?

I know for me, being the go-getter that I am, it’s tough not to not have expectations albeit through dance, school, my career etc. (I am my toughest critic). During my “acting” phase – I had this expectation that the first film that I was a part of would be a success and recognized for the song, story and actors that brought it to life. Thus, during shooting, I was extremely pumped and when the release date neared – the excitement to see the final product was buzzing through my bones. Yet… I vividly remember the night I first saw the film the disappointment I felt. I won’t go into specifics, but I felt I let myself down along with expectation I had set in regard to the team…

I was even more disappointed when the film was put in a local festival against a few others that lacked in some areas where the film I was a part of was strong in – it was later understood that the “awards” went according to favorites and satisfying certain people in the field,  and of course who knows who in the “industry.” I was disappointed, but it was from that moment onward that I realized to stop carrying such high expectations – especially from others whom you may be associated with.

What is it that we expect from ourselves, and others? Expecting too much sets us up for disappointment. So many relationships fail because of expectations we put on the other person and ourselves. When we learn to accept and be grateful for what we have and who we are, we let go of expectations.

Living in the now lets us be more aware of the present moment — experiencing the event. Don’t you think it would be better to just live your life, experiencing it as it happens? By taking this action, you really don’t have expectations; you’re just experiencing something as it unfolds.

Rather than expecting things from people, try to start accepting people the way they are. Practice what is empathy – just for a second, place yourself in their shoes and think from their point of you. You may then start to understand as to why they carry such expectations or lack of them thereof…

So, stop expecting things from people and start accepting them as people – this includes yourself too by the way – learn to accept you for who you are in all your flaws and beauty. That is after all, who you are. Start building up your own happiness and confidence on something you DO have power over: your thoughts and beliefs.

 

Featured Photo Credit: Jay Seth Photography